We’ve all probably heard about how sticks and stones may break bones, but words could never hurt people. But that’s not entirely true, is it? Some words can be hurtful, especially when said about the people we love.
For this redditor, one mean word is all it took to end a long-standing friendship. It was something that her friend—a bride-to-be—said about her daughter, which became a turning point in the relationship and left the bride without not only a friend but a flower girl, too.
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Just like sticks and stones, some words may hurt us
Hands placing a wedding ring on a finger, symbolizing a wedding ceremony.
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman didn’t hesitate to end a long-standing friendship over mean words
Text discussing skipping a friend’s wedding, featuring reasons and personal relationships.
Text discusses skipping friend’s wedding due to planning issues.
Flower girl in white dress holding basket, approaching wedding ceremony on grassy lawn.
Image credits:Justin Clark / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Text discusses reasons for skipping a friend’s wedding due to delays and fitting issues with the flower girl dress.
Text message about skipping wedding due to late discovery; reply suggests figuring it out.
Text excerpt discussing a conflict about a dress for a friend’s wedding, revealing reasons for skipping the event.
A woman looking stressed with eyes closed, hands on face, sitting in front of a laptop, referencing wedding explanation context.
Image credits:Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Text discussing reasons for skipping a friend’s wedding and ending the friendship.
Text about skipping a friend’s wedding due to an argument, mentioning missed presence and a flower girl role.
Text detailing reasons for skipping a friend’s wedding, revealing truth and text messages, gaining mutual friends’ support.
Person using a smartphone, reflecting on skipping friend’s wedding.
Image credits:A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Text about skipping a wedding due to friend’s comments, discussing pressure and impact on friendships.
Text about skipping a friend’s wedding due to a dress fitting issue.
Image credits:Complex_Anteater_607
It’s important to treat friends with the respect they deserve
There’s no denying that friendships are one of the cornerstones of a happy life. In addition to providing support, companionship, and a sense of belonging, friendships also keep us healthier, and needless to say, all of the above make life significantly better. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), people with friends tend to be more satisfied with their lives and less likely to experience depression, as well as heart problems and chronic diseases.
However, in order to feel the backing of true friendship, it’s crucial to choose friends wisely and to be able to end certain relationships if they are not based on mutual respect and understanding. The latter is what the redditor felt like she had to do after a longtime friend called her six-year-old daughter a cow – clearly not something a true friend should do.
Talking about personality traits we look for in a friend, psychotherapist and author Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, seconded the idea that respect plays a significant role when it comes to friendships. In a piece for Psychology Today, she noted that while specific traits we look for might differ from person to person, some qualities people seek in a friend are rather universal, and one of them is a minimum level of kindness and understanding. While that might sound like a low bar, not everyone can be equally kind, which is important to take into consideration.
“Some people are naturally programmed to respond in a compassionate way, while for others, this approach is not always easy. We all exist on different areas of the empathy spectrum, but look for, at least, a minimum understanding of basic kindness and understanding. Treating others with respect should be the bare minimum,” Gillis wrote.
Unfortunately, the OP’s friend didn’t exactly treat her with kindness and respect. After the redditor realized her mistake of not having fitted the flower girl’s dress earlier, she got in touch with the bride with options on how she could fix the situation. But instead of being given an answer, she had to listen to the friend bully her six-year-old child. As a parent should, the woman was not willing to listen to someone bad-mouthing her kid, nor was she looking forward to attending the wedding anymore. Fellow Reddit users sided with the mom, assuring in the comments that she wasn’t a jerk for skipping the wedding, nor for letting other friends know the exact reason why.
Fellow netizens seemingly sided with the mother who replied to some of their comments and questions
Discussion on skipping friend’s wedding, considering stress and social dynamics.
Reddit comments discussing friendship issues and skipping a friend’s wedding.
Reddit thread discussing reasons for missing a friend’s wedding, highlighting mutual friendships and personal grievances.
Reddit comments discussing reasons for skipping a friend’s wedding, mentioning a dress not fitting.
Comment exchange about skipping a wedding, discussing concerns of name-calling and fat shaming.
Reddit comments discussing reasons for skipping a friend’s wedding related to a dress issue.
Most people believed that the bride-to-be had no reason to talk about the woman’s child that way
Text comment discussing responsibility and wedding issue resolution, highlighting there’s no excuse to body shame a child.
Reddit thread discussing skipping a friend’s wedding due to socially unacceptable behavior.
Reddit comment discussing reasons for skipping a friend’s wedding, with 5.6k upvotes.
Reddit user comment about skipping a friend’s wedding and the consequences.
Comment discussing skipping a friend’s wedding, mentioning honesty and timing.
Reddit comment arguing against calling a child fat, supporting not attending a friend’s wedding.
Comment reading “Nta, there’s no amnesty for being a bridezilla,” discussing skipping a friend’s wedding.
Reddit comment about skipping a friend’s wedding, mentioning stress and uncalled-for remarks towards a child.
User comment supporting the person’s decision to skip the friend’s wedding.
Reddit comment defending skipping a friend’s wedding due to an insult toward a child.
Reddit comment discussing skipping a friend’s wedding and the resulting conflict.
Reddit comment discussing mutual friends and accountability.
Reddit comment discussing skipping a friend’s wedding and reasons for not attending.
User comment on skipping friend’s wedding, discussing truth and consequences.
