Hobbies are like the little sprinkles on the cupcake of life – tiny, colorful, and completely unnecessary, but they somehow make everything way more fun. Whether it’s crocheting tiny sweaters for your cat, collecting vintage spoons, or mastering the ukulele, hobbies bring joy, creativity, and maybe a little fun to your daily routine. They’re also a great way to express yourself and discover new passions.
But what happens when your hobbies aren’t exactly yours? When they’re more of a “copy-paste” situation, inspired by someone else’s interests? Well, let’s just say things can get messy, especially when relationships are involved.
More info:Reddit
RELATED:Copying someone else’s hobbies is like borrowing clothes—it looks cool at first but never quite fits the way you expect
One woman always copies her boyfriend’s hobbies and interests and spends thousands on things she doesn’t use—her frustrated friend tells her to get her own hobbies
The poster’s friends say she is out of line for judging her friend and telling her to get her own hobbies
The OP (original poster) shared a story about her friend, who seemed to take the phrase “two become one” a little too literally when in a relationship. Every time her friend got a new boyfriend, she essentially downloaded his personality and hobbies like a software update.
Dating a blackbelt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu? Time to roll into the gym. Crushing on a pastry chef? Suddenly, she’s all about baking croissants like she’s auditioning for The Great Bake Off or something. Interested in a guy with a snake collection? Why not consider buying a cobra? How are we casually glossing over buying a cobra, is beyond me.
But the latest hit? Dropping $2,500 on a gaming setup when, prior to this, the OP’s friend wasn’t even dabbling in mobile games like Candy Crush. That’s when the OP decided enough was enough and told the friend, at dinner, no less, that maybe she should stop basing her identity on her boyfriend’s hobbies and, you know, find interests of her own. Ouch, that’s harsh. And their mutual friends seemed to think so, too.
As you might imagine, the dinner got a little awkward after that. The OP’s friend looked visibly hurt, and later, another friend called out the OP for being unnecessarily harsh. But OP? She swore up and down that she wasn’t being cruel, just honest. Maybe a little too honest, if you ask me. She felt her friend needed a reality check on her dependent personality, stop being a chameleon and start being herself.
Some folks might describe the OP’s friend as just needy or clingy, but you see, there is such a thing as dependent personality disorder, not that I’m diagnosing anyone, don’t get me wrong – let’s leave that to the pros. While we don’t know much about the poster’s friend, besides, you know, the copycat thing, we do know that she’s molding her identity around her boyfriend, which could be a sign of DPD.
The pros say that people with DPD struggle with an excessive need to be cared for, often leading to clinginess and difficulty making decisions without input from others, relying heavily on others to define one’s sense of self and direction in life. This behavior can lead to unhealthy relationships, where the person with DPD might adapt their likes, dislikes, or even hobbies to match their partner’s, like the OP’s friend.
However, this could also just be a pattern of seeking connection or a lack of self-awareness rather than a diagnosable condition. But hey, at least she didn’t end up with a pet cobra. That would have been a fun story.
I get it; having hobbies is really important; they are not just time-fillers. They’re basically soul-boosters that give us a chance to step away from life for a sec. Whether it’s painting, gardening, or gaming, hobbies are little lifesavers.
They make you more creative, help with stress and mental health, and keep you from scrolling TikTok for four hours straight. Plus, they can make you a much more interesting person to talk to at parties.
So, was the OP a jerk? Well, the internet, unsurprisingly, is divided. But what do you think? Was the poster out of line, or was her friend overdue for a wake-up call? And what’s the wildest hobby you’ve ever picked up because of a partner? Spill the tea in the comments!
Netizens are divided on this one, some calling the poster a jerk for being too harsh on her friend, while others argue that she was right for telling the truth
